It's so easy to fall behind, and get lost in the stresses of life, that we forget to see how precious and beautiful life really is.
Here is a bit of a back story, should you wish to read, why this project is important to me:
After the tragic loss of my sister in law before Christmas (at the age of 31) I have really been struggling to make sense of the world.
I hate to admit this, but having a history of depression, I am very aware when the darkness starts to creep into my life and show it's ugly face.
Without getting into too much personal detail, I know a large percentage of the population suffers from mental illness, and we are socially taught to "sweep it under the rug" so to speak.
Once I had my first baby, I was scared. I was afraid that postpartum depression was going to swallow me up.
I waited. For months I waited, anticipating PPD to strike. It never did. In fact, I found myself feeling the opposite- this tiny, fragile, beautiful little human was my saviour. He somehow managed to pull me up out of the darkest times, and gave me so much hope- he filled my world with so much light. Of course, I still had times of sadness... but not like before.
Fast forward 15 months later, and my second baby was born. A sweet little girl.
After Aryanna was born, I waited again for PPD to show up. It never did.
These two, beautiful gifts from God, had somehow miraculously reshaped my life. They gave my life meaning. Everything changed, and suddenly I wasn't a selfish person anymore. I couldn't be. I was a Mom.
I have found a joy in these two children that I never knew existed. A love that I never knew was possible.
On September 1st, our family went through the most horrific ordeal, leaving our lives shattered. My beautiful, charismatic, life-loving sister in law Rachel had a horrible accident, and ended up passing away. There are no words to describe this loss. Tremendous sadness, anger and the question '"why" still haunts me every day. I heard from someone once, (when asking how you move on from something like this) that "it doesn't get easier...it just get's different".
Well, life is so different. My kids no longer have their auntie, my husband no longer has his sister, and I no longer have the best fun loving sister in law I could have asked for. There is a darkness that has entered our lives and I don't feel like it will ever leave.
If there's one thing I learned from Rachel's passing, it's that life is truly a blessing. You don't know when you are going to be called Home, and only you are in charge of your today.
I made a promise to myself- and I encourage you to do the same. LIVE each day- BREATHE in each moment, and always tell those around you that you LOVE them!
I will be inviting you into my 'perfectly imperfect' life, and sharing some images from my every day life with my kids. From doing laundry to dishes, to making dinner and bath time... I will not let a moment go to waste!